The race is on…

For some reason or another my mind decided to begin a race. You know the race probably the race to know where. The race in your head that happens before you go to bed possibly, or in the car on the way to work, or in my case while I should be working. Luckily, mine haven’t been too worrisome lately. Not that I haven’t had my fair share of anxious thoughts worrying about just about anything and everything. I am a mom, that is what we do right? WHo am I kidding, I have been worrying since I can remember.

Now this may sound morbid and I don’t mean it to at all. I am by far not trying to make it that way. I am constantly thinking about what matters. What is this going to matter in the end? Why should I care about who is doing what? Do I really care that one of the soccer coaches for Julia’s team is a total bitch? Why do I want to confront her about it? Does it matter? Will it matter? That of course is an example. I have tons of examples. That is a simple one and yes she is a bitch and I have thought about punching her in the throat, but will not follow through. I am a peaceful person.

So what my own conclusion, if I were my own therapist, because for those of you who do not know I have not gotten the nerve to physically step in to a therapist office. Yeah, I know I need to. Don’t think every 4 months my psychiatrist doesn’t say something. I digress. I am just trying refigure what is important as the kids get older, I want them to know what Mike and I believe in as people. Not religion, but as humans.

And then on the other hand-total midlife crisis.

Regardless what is it, I spend my days and nights with interesting, funny, smart, passionate people who make everyday interesting. So whatever it is in the end I will have great memories and hope I tried to make myself a better person each day, so I am left without regrets.

XOXO, B

P.S. I have attached the link to a kid president video that Judy, Ben (the new Kyle, Jim for those who are playing at home) and I watched at work today. Not only am I sucker for young african american boys, but he moved all 3 of us. It’s an old one, but we all could use a pep talk once in a while.

Evolution of a blogger

Since my dear friend Anna said I was a talented blogger I looked at my blog and noticed it ha been neglected. I also noticed. I have changed a lot in the past few years. For those if you new to my shit show feel free to browse my highs, lows and in betweens of the past.

I feel I am in a place of better balance, taking more risks, not being as hard on myself and trying to live in the moment. Attempting to let the past stay in the past and not let it haunt my present and future. And not worry so much about what is going to happen, because I want to be able to experience that joy, happiness and spontaneity of living in the moment.

Hah! So much easier said than done. But here’s to trying.

XOXO,B